Tuesday, October 23, 2012

K.I.S.S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Location update: Friday 10/26 5:15pm and 6:15pm sessions will meet OUTSIDE of DRAKE STADIUM. Spread the word. Thanks!



K.I.S.S. -

Keep It Simple, Stupid! This is the most useful, yet under-utilized acronym ever taught to the military. Simple.... Simple... I can't think of a better way to do ANYTHING! Yet, here I sit, trying to figure out a way to explain the idea of "simple".. I'm drawing a blank... Maybe I'll try to do it by illustrating the opposite.

Here you go..

I really don't care how fast you can run or how resilient to fatigue you may be; IF you think that THIS is a good idea, you are a moron and should probably abstain from procreating. Simple.

Every week I am cornered with various questions regarding some unique, super secret, convoluted squirrel strength training program that only works for a special person, done during a special time, after drinking a special drink, with 48 other restrictions and caveats. I don't care enough to explain why this is pointless because usually, my time is worth more to me than the person asking the questions. If they don't have the time to do even 10 minutes of research, then neither do I.

Even better, someone who can't do a single pull-up or dip will come up to me asking what the easiest way to do a muscle-up is; or something of that nature.

Here you go... Simple.. 4 easy steps.Muscle-upexercise

Maybe a write-up will help if the pictures don't quite make sense.. http://www.fitstream.com/exercises/ring-muscle-up-a21

I don't bother asking "why" anymore. I already know "why". It's nifty, It's different. It's innovative. It's bada$$. It's hardcore. It's special.

For some reason that's where this industry is going. It's about who can bring some innovative new "move" or gadget to the table. Something that pack a secret training methodology that hasn't been explored yet (since all of the others have failed). This is how money is made here.

No training method has ever failed anyone. People fail, not methods.

The reality is that a person who CAN DO a muscle-up is either already pretty impressively skilled (talented) or has been training for a long time using basic and foundational skill and strength development techniques specific to the demands of the task that he or she intends to accomplish. As a result, they probably developed a physique that accommodates the task as a consequence rather than a goal.

There is nothing innovative about the expression of the training. But if you fall into the hype of many of the training gurus out there and start doing muscle-ups as an exercise routine.. Well, I just hope you have a good orthopedist on hand and some free time for rehab. I hope you all see the picture that I'm painting.

Enter "SIMPLE". Simple works. Simple is ellegant. Simple is universal. Simple is.... simple.

For the purposes of training and exercise in broad general domians, I've distilled everything to like 15 different exercises. The rest, life takes care of. We'll never do neck-suspended ring push ups.

We'll never do front-flip juggernauts




We'll never do GHD bench presses.

Why? Because it is NOT simple. If you want to go out on your own and tear it up with these, go right ahead. I'm still trying to figure out a point in hand-stands.

I'll stick to the basics: the more you squat, the better you are at life.

Just in case you missed the point:


"Look everyone, I'm an idiot lemming and I'll do anything anyone tells me to do as long as that person thinks they know something different."

Please enjoy your week while I punch myself in the brain...

http://physicalstrategies.blogspot.com/2012/10/minimalism.html

5 comments:

  1. While I enjoy your advice and surprisingly good rhetoric, I can't help but sense some pessimism, as though your advice is falling on deaf ears. Well fear not, some of us are listening. Maybe you should practice what you preach and KISS (not the acronym). Maybe then there will be a little more optimism in your tone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If the quality of my rhetoric is so "surprising", why would you start reading in the first place?

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  2. You seem to be under the impression that people start reading this blog for your rhetoric. I'm here for the same reason others are... fitness advice...


    and huge men rolling in the grass.

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    Replies
    1. Was "keep it simple" not fitness advice?

      I'm still not sure where the rhetoric was, so that's why I'm not sure why anyone would read this for rhetoric or the quality of it..

      Delete
    2. I think your confusion comes from the fact that rhetoric can have several different meanings. The first comment was meant to be complimentary though I can see why it sounded a bit condescending. Anyway, I'm an admirer, not a troll. We can just leave it at that. Have a wonderful weekend.

      Delete

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