Armed and Dangerous.

WHO WEARS SHORT SHORTS?

First things first: check out Justin's post about short shorts. It's a revolution people. Just make sure you have the thighs to fill them out if you choose to partake. Don't go strutting your chopstick legs in some rugby shorts. Here's an example of what you're shooting for (just get a smaller size if you're worried).
 

Obviously those legs are enormous, so a diet rich in sets of 10-12 heavy front squats and the same with Romanian dead lifts MIGHT get you off to a good start. I suggest you forgo walking in exchange for broad jumping and lunge-walking everywhere now. Also, you're going to want to push your car to work rather than actually driving it. You guys should all start "carpooling" anyway. Just switch off who gets to push and who has to steer. If you need to brake, just run around to the front and slow it down that way. Don't be a mamby pamby and bank on the driver slamming the brakes. That's cheating!

All joking aside, there is a saying: "Hard lives build hard bodies". I believe this to be true. An hour of exercise isn't really going to be helpful if you want to resemble a rugby player. Becoming a ruby player and training to BE a rugby player will help achieve that look. The desire to dominate and impose your will upon your opponents for a mere CHANCE at winning helps drive the athletic physique. FORM FOLLOWS FUNCTION.

KEEP THINGS DRY

I can't believe I only recently discovered this product:



This stuff is amazing! It's ANTI MONKEY BUTT. Now, before you all bring out your inner child and either get carried away, or offended, this stuff goes on any parts of your body that come in contact with other parts. So if you're totally jacked like I am (sarcastic) your arms and lats spend a lot of time together. This causes moisture to collect and friction to increase. Subsequent irritation and rashes are soon to follow. So a little proactive care can go a long way. It's basically talcum powder and calamine powder in one bottle. Pretty simple, but very effective. I got a bottle at either CVS or Riteaid. Which ever one is across from Trader Joes in Westwood.

ARMS

After reading last week's post, a female BHIP participant came up to me and asked me a question that nearly brought tears to my eyes. She asked how she could put some more meat on her arm bones to match her sprinter daughters' arms. This topic hits close to the heart for me as I PERSONALLY believe that no one should have to go through life with skinny arms.

Having big arms has a certain suggestive power. Take a look.


Here's a guy who is feared on the football field. Probably looks a bit intimidating off the field as well. I'm not saying it's all about the arms. But they certainly help. Believe it or not, Clay Matthews happens to be quite a heart-throb with the ladies. Dudes like him too because he embodies Thor. Now imagine if he had thin bony arms. Let's just say the Packers would have had a mighty hard time winning the 2010 championship without him and his career banks on his physique quite heavily. So it can be argued that Clay's arms won the 2010 Super Bowl. Yes, my logic is bullet-proof.

The key here is symmetry and proportion. You don't want to be this guy:


His arms serve no other purpose than my amusement.

The moral of this story is functionality. Clay Matthews USES his big arms for a load-imposing and bearing purpose. He has to push his opponent harder than the opponent can withstand. That's why he tends to dominate his plays. Greg Valentino (the bubbly dude) has very little utility in his arms other than advertising steroids, which he has been jailed for a few times.

So let's talk function.. The function of your bicep and triceps muscles is, mainly, to open and close your elbow joint. So the immediate training method would be to go do some curls and triceps extensions. Unfortunately, the frat-boy approach is a misguided one. Your arms flex (close) and extend (open) in harmony with other actions in your body. So if you're pulling something in, you're hopefully going to start with bigger movers like your hips and lats and then finish with your arms; just like a ring-row. Same with pushing. You'll start with your legs perching against the ground and with a violent push and follow-through from the chest you'll finish by pushing your arms open. Think push press, even a push up. So arms express the intentions of the body. And if you have big arms, then that suggests that your body can have even more intentions.. Numsayin'?

Sprinters have big arms because they need to keep their arms in tight while sprinting and hammering their fists. The fists can build up quite a bit of inertia at those speeds.



For our purposes, the best way to develop some well-proportioned arms is through pull ups and dips.

Pull ups are great but very challenging for most people. So take as much time as you need to develop the movement. It may take years, but that doesn't matter, it's about the process and progress. If you can already do pull ups, do more.

Progressing - Pull ups are a product of hand strength (most important), dynamic scapular control, and scapular stability.

- So develop your hands to tolerate the load of your body. Use a chair or something else to help you progress. Use an underhand grip.Stay active. So don't just hang like a dead fish. Actually look strong.

- Develop the scapular retraction. So bring your shoulder blades closer together and open your chest. Hold that position for a few seconds at a time.

- Develop scapular depression. So with your shoulder blades together, pull them down your back towards your hips. You may only get an inch or two. Think about popping your head up higher.

- Add in the pull. After you have a good grasp on all the previous stuff, start pulling your elbows down and in. Make sure your shoulder blades stay in and down. External rotation/retraction/depression. If your shoulder blades break the position, you're not ready to pull yet.

- Drive your elbows all the way down and back behind you. This is the finish. Your neck may now be at the level of the bar. I like to hit my chest to the bar.

- Add speed and only do a few at a time. Slow pull ups are useless unless you're going slow on the way down. So do like 1-7 as long as they're fast and structurally sound. Shoot to do a good 50 a week.

So this is how we develop the body and subsequently the arms. We follow a very specific protocol that will help ensure functionality rather than just having grotesque arms and physiques.

Ok. I'm out of brain juice. I'm out! Have a great week!

Enjoy!